Get Incensed

Wants Governor to leave the door open…

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Get Incensed is proud to present the latest breaking news on the Eliot Spitzer story:

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Spitzer To Use Governor’s Office As Bargaining Chip
Feds Said to Hold Stronger Hand with PMITA Prison

As calls for his resignation continued, Governor Spitzer was reportedly locked in negotiations for a plea deal with Federal prosecutors.

Sources say Governor Client 9’s delay in resigning means he is trying to use the governor’s office as a bargaining chip and also to further solidify his image as not giving a crap about the people of New York.

In a special plea-bargain poker game that will be televised on ESPN, Spitzer is trying to bluff the Feds into playing a hand that will mean the Governor serves no jail time and keeps his license to practice law.

Federal prosecutors, the current reigning World Series of Plea Bargaining champions, are said to be ready to go all-in. Which, as one prosecutor notes, “Is pretty much the same strategy inmates will use if the Governor goes to prison.”

Spitzer, described by inmates as a “pretty, petite brunette,” is said to be weighing his options between prison and having his wife break his balls for the next 40 years.

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Awarded to us by The Cult of Qelqoth