Your Gratuitous Eliot Spitzer Update
To be fair, he did promise to get things humming again….
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Get Incensed is proud to present the latest breaking news on the Eliot Spitzer story:
Two stories hot off the press:
Spitzer Alias ‘George Fox’ Is Real Person, Long-Time Friend and Supporter of Governor — Until Now
More news today that Governor Spitzer was ‘keeping it real’ by using the actual name of a close friend as an alias in connection with his call girl escapades.
The real George Fox issued the following statement:
“While I appreciate the Governor thinking enough of me to use my name when he was getting his rocks off, I would like to make it clear that I am in no way involved in this sordid affair other than I now get laughed at in the supermarket and have 13,000 reporters trampling my front yard.
I don’t think this should, in any way, tarnish the governor’s long political record. He’s always been a pompous, self-aggrandizing jerk and I hope he is remembered that way.
Seriously. He couldn’t have used ‘Hugh G. Rection’ or ‘Haywood Jablowme?!’
Jeezus! Even Elmer Fudd would’ve been better than this….”
Privately, the real Mr. Fox has told friends he plans to use the alias ‘E. Spitzer’ to make restaurant reservations and then bolt on the check for the next 15 years.
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In a separate but related story, Governor Spitzer is closing in on a record previously thought to be unassailable:
N.Y Governor Set To Break Irony, Double Entendre Marks for Campaign Ads, Speeches
Less than 36 hours after he was reported to be Client 9 on a Federal wiretap investigation of prostitution, Eliot Spitzer got good news when it was discovered he was within striking distance of the irony and double entendre record for a politician — formerly held by Larry Craig.
Remember when New York buzzed, hummed and churned? The Empire State was strong and powerful — surging and thrusting until, in a climax of molten desire, it shuddered and erupted all over New Jersey.
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Big or small? Hard or easy?
Spitzer for Governor: Bring some passion back to Albany.
Or you could leave it in a hotel in D.C.
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News items courtesy of Bizlevity,
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