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Too many text messages?

The world’s biggest statue of Jesus was struck by lightning today leaving priests, reporters and bumper-sticker makers to wonder what the Son of God did to piss off His Father. (WTFDJD?!)

People waiting outside the Pearly Gates reportedly overheard an angry Heavenly Father telling His Son to clean up His Room.

“Just snap Your Fingers and get it done, already,” Yahweh was heard to bellow.

A spokesperson for God denied Jesus was caught running up the family cable bill with late-night pay-per-view purchases.

“Let’s face it,” said St. Thomas Aquinas, “Jesus would know He couldn’t get away with anything like that since God knows everything.”

“Besides, Jesus doesn’t have Those Urges and there’s no way He could have guessed the password for God’s cable block.”

Theologians were at a loss to explain why Jesus was being punished since, if He’s perfect He couldn’t do anything wrong …. and if He didn’t do anything wrong, then God wouldn’t punish Him … but if God punished Him, He must have done something wrong ….

A Vatican spokesman told reporters to check back with the Holy See in another 300 years after they’d had time to debate the conundrum.

Other Bible scholars suggested that the lightning bolt was just God’s way of warning His Son not to step out of line after 800 trillion gazillion bazillion years of good behavior.

Or 10 thousand years if you take the Bible literally.

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“Don’t mess with the bull … you’ll get the horns.” -variously attributed to Principal Vernon and God

When asked for an explanation, The Heavenly Father responded with a simple, “No comment” and asked that reporters respect the Holy Trinity’s right to privacy during this difficult time.

Pressed for an explanation, God (who loves a good pun as much as the next deity) responded, “Jesus is not in trouble. He’s just grounded.”

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Awarded to us by The Cult of Qelqoth