We’re Still Not Friends
“I’ll be there for you ….”
In this week’s Project Blog contest, the challenge is for bloggers to revisit or expand upon a past blog topic.
The timing couldn’t be more perfect for a topic that has particular relevance during the holiday season: the intimate relationship between corporation and consumer.
In a previous post, entitled Friends With Benefits, I made the point (speaking to all the companies who are trying to get into my e-mail box) that “just because I buy something and, under the duress of not being able to use your website, register my e-mail with you, doesn’t mean we’re ‘friends.’”
As a matter of fact, I want to start seeing other businesses.
I know it’s always hard to break up right around the holidays, but I think this is best.
I should have listened when all the local shops in my area told me a long-distance relationship would never work.
But then you came along with your fancy website, online catalog and 10% off my first purchase and, well, I guess I was just taken in by it all.
You had me at “Re-confirm your password.”
And then, you said … *sniff* … you really cared about me. Was it all just marketing?
I don’t think I’m naive. I guess what I mean to say is … I’ve been around the mall a couple of times.
For example, I know that, despite the name changes, the same guy is managing the jewelry store that’s been having a “Going Out of Business Sale” for the past seven years.
Heck, I even bought imported Chinese cookware at the Dollar Store … and that’s pretty much the same thing as experimenting with anal.
So, it’s not like I’m some wide-eyed shopper just off the cruise ship.
But, you … I thought you were different. I didn’t think you were just after my money. I thought you were interested in me for me.
I used to love it when you’d write to me three, sometimes four, times a week with special deals that had my name at the top of the e-mail.
Can you imagine how I mortified I was when I found out everybody at the office got the same e-mail and the same buy-one-get-one-free offer that I did?
I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.
Well, except for that time I forgot to lock the door and my mom walked in while I was “doing my homework.”
But the biggest problem is … you’re just unavailable.
Remember when I had a problem with that gift I’d sent to my cousin and all I wanted to do was talk?
Finding a customer service number on your website was like trying to find a cookie at a fashion show.
I’m pretty sure on the next CSI: Miami, David Caruso’s going to try to track down a contact number on your website that connects to a real person. It’s going to be at least a three-part episode.
I know it sounds cliche but it’s not me … it’s you.
You think you can just cruise around the Internet flexing your pop-up ads and flaunting your JavaScript and customers will come and fawn all over you. And maybe they will.
But me, I’m leaving with my dignity, my head held high and no regrets.
I had some fun but it’s time for me to start shopping at a local store … a store where I can walk through a real door and talk to real people and, if I have a problem, put a real brick through a real plate glass window.
Good-bye, online store. Take care of yourself. I’ll see you around.
Wait, what? … did you say free shipping?
Project Blog is an on-going competition at Reality on Bravo where top-notch bloggers from around the world are competing to be named the ultimate “top blogger.” We’ve got some great prizes lined up, and there’s good news - you can win too! Every Monday, over at Reality on Bravo, Allison will announce the weekly sponsor and the prize. Make sure that you play every week - you can win some amazing things, thanks to our awesome sponsors!
Week Two’s Sponsor: Gillian and Food History (www.foodpast.com)
Week Two’s Prize: Chronicling The Fifth Deadly Sin
This week, our Project Blog sponsor is Gillian Polack, writer, historian, and all around cool cat from the blog Food History. The prize? A copy of her e-cookbook, Chronicling the Fifth Deadly Sin, which is a tasty collection of recipes from around the world. And I do mean tasty.
Check out Gillian’s site for a sneak peak of what you could win! Her site includes recipes from around the world, as well as the history behind them.
And, if you like fiction, your can also purchase Gillian’s novel, Illuminations, from Barnes and Noble,
Want a chance to win this week’s prize? You can enter up to three times!
- For one chance, leave a comment on this post on Reality on Bravo with one “food fact” that you’ve learned from any post on Gillian’s website.
- For a second chance, blog about this contest on your own site and email the link to me at allison.boyer-at-yahoo-dot-com.
- Want a third chance? Check back here on Friday, vote for your favorite in our Project Blog competition, and leave a comment showing support! The winner will be drawn at random from all qualifying entries.
November 24th, 2007 at 2:11 am
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November 24th, 2007 at 2:27 am
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November 24th, 2007 at 2:29 am
Online shopping be darned, I love you a little more each week.
November 24th, 2007 at 10:25 am
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November 24th, 2007 at 10:27 am
Sigh. The free shipping always gets me to. If only Amazon.com could commit to something more.
November 24th, 2007 at 10:54 am
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November 24th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
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November 24th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
Aaaahh - two magic words: free shipping…if Amazon would accept Paypal, I’d be it’s bitch for forever…
November 24th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
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November 24th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
I love when I get weekly emails from Zappos (who I love by the way) and it says “Act now for free shipping!” They ALWAYS have free shipping, but they act like it is a special thing. They are manipulative that way.
November 25th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
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November 26th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
What a fun way to describe the clingy yet hot-and-cold relationship inherent to online shopping! But you’re right, those online stores get us every time with the puppy dog eyes and the “free shipping” thing.