Get Incensed

Campaign ad for Mayor Bloomberg…

I was watching NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg speak the other day and it occurred to me that I haven’t seen Fran Drescher around lately.

Except for the lack of Fran’s awesome rack on display, it’s easy to confuse a Bloomberg speech with an episode of The Nanny. There’s that same whiny, nasal tone throughout and there’s a good chance that the mayor is trying to save everyone from themselves.

It’s all wild, zany fun with a comic twist.

There are just a couple things wrong with the Bloomberg sitcom (now entering its fifth season)….

First off, if there was ever a group of people that could take care of themselves, it’s New Yorkers. They’ve dealt with stock market crashes, power failures, homeless dudes with squeegees, Spike Lee and Donald Trump.

Call me a cockeyed optimist, but I’m pretty sure the average city dweller can figure out how to deal with any dangers posed by iPods and after-school snacks.

Secondly, it’s not like New York (or any major city) doesn’t have a few other problems that might take precedence over trying to pass laws that criminalize lifestyle choices. (Feel free to take a few weeks here and brainstorm amongst yourselves.)

Photo of NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg, shown here holding a gun to the back of Miss Liberty…

The worst part about Bloomberg’s crusade to legislate people to act just the way he thinks they should is that, just like Fashion Week, the trend set in New York is gradually spreading across the country.

It started with smoking and trans-fat bans in New York. It continued with legislation being introduced to make it illegal to listen to an iPod while crossing the street in Manhattan. Now, it’s spreading across the country as various communities look to ban breastfeeding, baggy pants and plastic bags.

Okay, I get the whole plastic bag thing. After all, you can’t just go giving people the freedom to choose either paper or plastic. Some people might choose plastic and there’d be anarchy and a total breakdown of the social fabric.

Don’t even get me started on the move in Atlanta to ban low-slung pants that reveal a glimpse of ass crack. I find it incredibly ironic the city that is home to CNN would consider a law that, if it was enforced, would throw 98% of cable TV repairmen in jail.

Are we all such misbehaved kids that we need to have Uncle Sam function as Nanny Deb?

Two sides of the same intrusive coin

A little consistency would be nice, too. If you don’t want the government reading your e-mail, why is it okay for them to tell you what to eat and what to wear?

I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure I don’t want diet advice from Dennis Hastert or fashion advice from James Traficant.

“Thanks, but if it’s all the same to you guys, I’ll make my own choices.”

There are enough encroachments on our civil liberties these days without getting the government involved in the minutiae of our daily lives.

What I eat, drink or screw should only be the business of three people: me and the twins who accompany me to Denny’s after a night of binge drinking.

humor, Bloomberg, Fran Drescher, The Nanny, Nanny Deb, James Traficant, Dennis Hastert, civil liberties, Denny’s, binge drinking