Get Incensed

“Darkside’s comin’ now…”

This week’s Project Blog challenge is to get up close and personal.

Don’t worry. I’m just as uncomfortable with that as you are. Probably more so. But metaphorically walk with me for a bit and let’s see what we can come up with, shall we? ….

Who are we? How do we become the person we are?

We our defined by our family.

As a kid growing up, my family moved a lot. Before I graduated from high school I lived in Philadelphia, New York, St. Louis, Cleveland, Baltimore and Buffalo. To this day, the longest I’ve ever lived in a single house or apartment was the four years I spent working in Tokyo, Japan.

The most common question I get when I mention our family’s travels is, “Was your father in the military?”

I was in high school before I realized this wasn’t most people’s idea of a summer home…

He wasn’t. My father began his professional career working in the marketing division of a soda company. He was very good at what he did and had the results to prove it. He was also cocky, impatient and had zero tolerance for company politics.

It made for an idyllic childhood. My father would come home and regale us with stories of his latest successes. He would go on to tell us how his boss was a complete and utter moron and how he had been able to convey this fact to his boss in their meeting earlier that afternoon.

It got to the point where, as kids, we didn’t even wait for instructions. We’d just start packing.

I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I have a rather large problem with authority. That’s a pretty fair assessment but it doesn’t really shed an light on whether that’s the result of genetics or environment.

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We are defined by our experience.

If I had to pick the three areas of interest/careers I’ve had that have defined me as an adult, I would say they would be basketball, Wall Street and stand-up comedy.

They are not as different as they may appear on the surface. All three arenas require a certain focus and intensity and, while they are all highly individualistic, there are team goals that do come into play.

Another characteristic these spheres share is that you make close, personal friendships in all three. The friendships are unique, born of a desire to connect with people you enjoy, respect and who you can count on to perform in a highly charged situation.

Game of life

I think the shared intensity and fear in all of these walks of life contribute to friendships that get experienced deeper and faster than relationships formed under different, more casual circumstances.

This makes it all the more surprising that many of the friendships forged don’t last. I have guys I’ve spent more hours with than most girlfriends — guys I’ve have shared insights, thrills and insane amounts of beer with … and I haven’t spoken to them in years.

My Psychology Dr. Girlfriend thinks there are Y-chromosome factors at work here, too. Guys don’t bond, they hang out. And, like we sometimes do with sex and love, we confuse the two.

We want to be nurtured … it’s just not in our nature.

“What I want is songs that echo. The stuff we’re doing now is like somebody’s bedsheets; spread ‘em out, soil ‘em, ship ‘em out to laundry, you know? But our songs…I want us to be able to fold ourselves up in them forever…understand? That’s the most you’ll ever get out of me Wordman. Ever.”
-from Eddie and The Cruisers

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We are defined by our dreams.

Most of my dreams these days center around my son. He’s growing up waaay too fast.

I don’t know if I’m weird or not (who am I kidding — I know I’m weird) but I don’t dream specific things for my son.

Stuff dreams are made of….

I have no burning desire for him to follow a particular path. I don’t care if he’s a basketball player or an opera singer. I don’t care if he’s a doctor or a bus driver. I can honestly say, I don’t even care if he’s straight or gay.

My dream is for him to be strong, centered and an independent thinker. I also want him to be happy and loved.

I think he’s got a pretty good start. His mom is an amazing person and a fierce advocate for him. His step-dad is pretty cool and, as far as I can tell, loves him a whole lot.

In my worst moments, I drive myself crazy wondering how things might have been different if I’d been whatever it was I wasn’t enough of to keep us together as a family. If I spend too much time thinking about it, I go insane regretting the thousands of missed moments because I’m not there when he gets ready for school or when he sits down to eat dinner.

To keep myself from going totally out of my mind, I try to concentrate on dreaming good dreams and working to make them come true.

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We are defined by our family. We are defined by our experience. We are defined by our dreams.

And, with a little luck, we get to be happy and loved.

It really doesn’t seem like too much to ask, does it?

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Project Blog is an ongoing competition for bloggers, which began at RealityonBravo.com and is ending at BCS Frenzy. Every week, blogtestants from all over the blog-o-sphere compete in blogging challenges. The top blogger of the week wins a special prize, and the blogger with the lowest score is eliminated. There are prizes for readers too! To read more about Project Blog, check out this post.

The overall Project Blog winner gets a prize pack of awesome schtuff, which includes:

• An autographed picture of Jackie Warner, courtesy of Sky Sport and Spa
• A pair of shoes from the newest line from Jonathan Kayne
• A Soffe college hoodie, courtesy of me, BCS Frenzy!
• Gold-plated earrings from Aurora at Between My Sheets
• A pet portrait, courtesy of Intricate Art
• A set of bud vases from Top Design’s Jonathan Adler

Like I said, every week there will also be a prize for readers. This week, I’m throwing in the prize myself, since we’re making the move from Reality on Bravo to BCS Frenzy! You can enter to win a FREE one-year subscription to ESPN Magazine. There are two steps to win: First, leave a comment here telling me why you want to win - and second, using the same name, leave a comment on ANY OTHER post on this site! That’s all you have to do and you’re entered!

Note: the winner of this week’s Project Blog competition will receive a magazine subscription of their choice.

Here’s this week’s competition challenge, keeping in mind that we’re in the middle of a two-week challenge about using photographs:

Last week, you were asked to simply use photographs in your post. This week, dig deeper. Expert bloggers can reported time and time again that you MUST connect with your readers in order to raise your stats. Return readers and subscribers trump SEO any day! And to do that…we need that personalized touch.

So, yes, that’s right - I want to see some personalized pictures. I’m not saying that it has to be a picture of you - but we want to feel like we can enter your world as readers, so find a way to do that!

Of course, keep in mind that you can write about whatever you want. Make it work with your blog topic!

You have until 8 AM on Friday to post, but remember - your link will be posted here for voting as soon as you post your entry, so for maximum voting, get your entries in soon!

Bloggers, start your engines! Check back later for a complete list of posts from our blogtestants, and don’t forget to vote on your favorite! Oh, and if anyone else out there wants to play along, send me the link to your post and I’ll include it on the list - you won’t be eligible for the grand prize, but you will get a little link love.

Good luck, bloggers!