Get Incensed

Helps brainstorming for business ideas and reduces stress…and the pot works okay, too.

I think they should hand out marijuana in business school.

Because you can come up with almost any crazy idea and turn it into a business. I’m pretty sure the guys that came up with the idea for Omaha Steaks were high at the time.

Stoner #1: This is the last of my stash and I got fired today, dude. How are we going to pay for more pot?
Stoner #2: Check this out. We could sell overpriced meat through the mail.”
Stoner #1: Come on, dude. Seriously. Even I’m not that freakin’ high…

And yet…Omaha Steaks has been proudly serving beef lovers and people who can’t do long division since 1917.

You know you’re on to something when you can make Ticketmaster look underpriced.

Thanks to the magic of teh Interwebs, you can shop online and buy four, 4 oz. filet mignons at the every day low price of $50.99 plus $15.99 shipping — which works out to just under $67.00 a pound.

For $67 a pound, I expect to open the box and find Gordan Ramsay slaughtering a fresh cow. In fact, I’ll bet I could get Gordon Ramsay to do it for less than 50 bucks.

And, really, are you fooling anyone with the $50.99 price and $15.99 shipping?

Oh, wait…I forgot my calculator…I would’nt pay $51 a pound but $50.99 looks like a real bargain to me. And, just look at those savings on the shipping!

Don’t get me wrong, there are deals to be had at Omaha Steaks. Savvy shoppers will want to avoid the high-priced regular items and go for the specials, like the Griller’s Gala — just in time for that Memorial Day cook-out. With the Griller’s Gala you’ll only pay about about $15.65 a pound for a variety mix of beef cuts, about one-third of which is hamburger. Did I mention that the $90 price is over 50% off the regular $182.00 cost? Woo hoo.

I’ll be spending the long weekend working on my business plan for South Dakota Fish. It’s going to feature the finest, organically-raised fish of all different varieties for one flat-rate of $129.99 a pound.

Of course, shipping’s not included. What do you think…I’m made of money?

Well, not yet, anyway ….

There’s plenty of meat in this week’s Friday Six. It features our usual top cuts of websites, blogs and undercover slaughterhouse videos that are sure to tickle your carnivorous funny bone.

It’s 100% USDA-grade humor with no filler and no alliteration.

Yum!

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Looking for a job? Having Diesel help you write your resume may not help you get the job, but you’ll be having too much fun reading Jobs I Have Sucked At to care

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People are getting all excited about a chimp that can play Ms. Pacman. Call me when the monkey masters Grand Theft Auto. Chimps playing video games. Great. Now we have to worry about monkeys going all goth and blowing up schools.

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Congratulations to Hillary Clinton on running a great campaign. She’s managed to get me to the point where I have a Pavlovian rise in my blood pressure every time she starts to speak.

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Wait, … what? There are annoying people in Starbucks?!

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Destined to be a classic. The lyrics to the Raiders of the Lost Ark theme and the story behind them. (With karaoke video goodness.)

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It’s Everyone Can Bite Me Friday over at HOLLYWOOD: WHCTD. Just when you think you’re a pretty good writer, Suzy goes and raises the bar.

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Have an awesome weekend, everyone.

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