The Friday x where 3x = 13 + 5
Study hard. (And, yes, I’m 15 in maturity years) ….
WTF, dude!?
Last week it was anagrams, this week it’s algebra problems. What’s next, The Friday Six for chemical engineering majors? This isn’t a humor column, it’s a damn SAT test.
Fear not, Frodo. It was all just an experiment to see how much math I remembered from eighth grade. Not much, as it turns out.
I originally wanted to freak everyone out and put a quadratic equation in this week’s title. I gave up on that idea after spending 45 minutes reviewing quadratic equations in an old math book. In the end, the only thing that happened was that I freaked myself out wondering how I ever made it out of high school.
Then I realized that I’ve managed to stumble through life and haven’t even used, missed or seen a quadratic equation since they still had staples in Playboy centerfolds and we had a complete set of hand-towels in the guest bathroom.
Before any school teachers write in to complain about my contempt for higher education, let me make it clear that I am in no way saying that math is not important.
All I’m saying is that upper level math is not important. Unless you want to work for NASA.
Or if you want to figure out if your buddy Mike leaves Philadelphia at 7:30pm with a 12-pack of Miller Chill going 75 mph in his POS Honda Civic and you leave New York City by bus at 5:00pm with a cooler of mojitos, how long will it be before you both rendezvous in Atlantic City, win money at blackjack and get laid?
Make sure your answer is in terms of decades.
Let’s just agree to get through this without any complicated math.
Keeping it simple, here’s the Friday Six. Six websites, videos or people we saw in the Port Authority bus station that made us laugh during the past week.
Sure, there’s no alliteration, but at least you don’t have to take off your shoes to count them.
Over at Points In Case, Sarah Romeo has a love letter to the Bronx. It’s sincere, heartfelt and nicer than a phone message from Alec Baldwin.
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With all the celebrities being busted for drugs these days, it was only a matter of time before someone came up with a list of Christopher Walken’s prescription meds.
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Sometimes I question my own behavior. Check it out.
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You know it’s a tough town when Overheard in New York features quotes like this:
Mom to infant who keeps dropping his toy: Okay, let’s try this — how ’bout I throw you on the ground?!
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Central Snark dishes on Dennis Kucinich, UFOs and Shirley MacLaine. According to the Comedy Bible, the funniest of three things should be last but I couldn’t decide so I picked out of a hat.
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Which of these is not like the others: Tila Tequila, spider badonkadonks or the male contraceptive Phireblanks? It’s a trick question. They’re all funny topics covered at Hurty Elbow.
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Bee Movie is out and the NBA season has started.
Have a great weekend, evahbody.
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