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Bloomin’ idiot

Breaking news from the Des Moines Register ….

A man went to jail for allegedly throwing an onion at his wife.

The details:

James Izzolena, 54, of 3515 Sheridan Ave., was charged with domestic assault causing injury. Police said he became upset with his wife, Nicole Izzolena, 27, and tossed an onion at her, striking her in the back of the head … James Izzolena admitted throwing the onion, police said, but he claimed he did not intend to hit her with it. He was being held without bond pending a court appearance today.

Damn. They don’t mess around in Iowa. This dude is being held without bail for assault with a pungent vegetable. In Iowa you can probably get life for a zucchini attack.

His wife told police the blow from the onion made her head hurt, her eyes tear and her spaghetti sauce taste “justa like-a Mama’s.”

More importantly, how does a 54-year-old dude wind up throwing a root vegetable at his 27-year-old wife? James should be spending most of his time kneeling and thanking his lucky stars that he can still get 27-year-old kitty. The guy would have had to be a minor league catcher to uncork that kind of throw from his knees.

Let this be a lesson to you, kids. Cooking dinner with your significant other can be a romantic endeavor, but only if you check your hostility at the door and find a way to use strawberries…

Yeah, … strawberries are good …..