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The Most Important Meal of the Day

by Mark Jabo

dumpster_diving5.jpg
“I love all the freebies at these upscale hotels . . . “

I think it’s about time that hotels stopped dangling the complimentary Continental breakfast as some sort of major incentive for choosing to stay there.

Let me get this straight … I’m paying $225 a night and $13 per X-rated video (pushing the cost of a one-night stay to well over $350) and you’re going to spring for a 85 cents worth of coffee and lemon danish? What are you the United Way or something? Does your philanthropy know no bounds?

As long as you’re going to trumpet your free Continental breakfast as a major perk, why stop there? How about advertising the free dental hygiene package available at the front desk - you know, the 10 cent toothbrush and the tube of toothpaste you have to be careful not to confuse with a chapstick? It’s kind of like universal dental care.

I can usually get a free comb and a disposable razor at the reception desk, too. This is pretty much the same as providing a free makeover for all your guests.

If you want to know the truth, I would trade all those enticing free gifts for an extra two inches of plaster on the walls between the rooms so I can’t hear the play-by-play from the guy in the next room as he tells his new bride all the things he’s going to do to her that night.

Wait, what … they’re part of the AARP group?

Eeeeewww.

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Posted in General on June 5th, 2007

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