Get Incensed

Now, that’s entertainment

ABC News posted the following headline on a story about the most recent heightened terrorist alert:

We are all officially losing our minds over this whole terrorist thing.

First of all, the fact that you’ve now plastered this document on one of the most widely read news sites in the world kind of blows that whole “secret” thing out of the water.

Secondly, what kind of clowns do we have in Homeland Security who are describing the potential for a huge terrorist strike as a “spectacular?”

Is al-Qaeda planning a massive musical number for later in July? What’s coming this fall? Terror-palooza?

If Muslim extremists are devising ways to kill large numbers of innocent civilians, is it too much to ask that we don’t refer to it as if it’s the finale to a Las Vegas showgirl routine?

Next thing you know, we’ll be calling a car bomb attack a “vehicular extravaganza.”

I’m pretty sure you can’t refer to a hotel explosion as a “snappy little number with a big finish” unless the particular suicide bomber does a tap routine in the lobby before setting off the dynamite.

And even then, he’d have to do that thing where he walks up on to the chair and then gracefully rides it as it tips over backwards.

At that point … feel free to call it a “rousing routine.”

‘Cause, let’s face it, you just don’t see that kind of old-time hoofing any more.

terrorism, extravaganza, lollapalooza, grand finale, tap dancing, Mr. Bojangles, there’s no business like show business, al-Qaeda,