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P.M. PMS - Close Call for Michael Moore

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500lb_man.jpg
A River Runs Around It…

Michael Moore was pulled from a shallow section of the St. Croix River yesterday after his inner tube deflated, stranding him in shallow water on his back. Dozens of rescue workers spent over …

Oh, wait …. that was another 500-pound clown wearing a baseball cap.

The real story is almost as ridiculous as this guy was stranded and had to be portaged by a bunch of rescue workers until they had enough water to float him down river to an ambulance that was waiting to take him to the nearest Denny’s.

The whole chain of events started because a quarter-ton dude decided to go tubing in two inches of water. A helicopter was called in but was of no use because “the aircraft that found him said they could not lift that amount of weight.”

Because of the cost of the helicopter, the aluminum boat, the ambulance, over 25 people and tipping the Denny’s waitress 20% on a $438 check, Kaiser Permanente has announced that it is raising rates for all two million of its policyholders by $3600 a year.

We really need to address the health care crisis in this country….

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3 Responses to “ P.M. PMS - Close Call for Michael Moore

  1. Diesel Says:

    “another 500-pound clown wearing a baseball cap.”

    I love it.

    Welcome to humor-blogs.com

  2. Diesel Says:

    Whoops, screwed up my site link. Fat finger disease.

  3. Mark Jabo Says:

    Thanks, Diesel. Loved your news briefs..

    GI readers, make sure you check out Belgium: France Keeps Touching Me and other news stories at:
    http://www.mattresspolice.com/2007/06/mattress-police-news-briefs-3.htm

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