No Chimp Left Behind
by Mark Jabo
Pomp and circumstance….
This just in …
In a recent study, a chimp beat nine college students in a short-term memory test.
To be fair, the chimp was home-schooled.
Further investigation uncovered the fact the monkey had spent two years at a local community college and secretly attended a Kaplan prep course prior to the study.
The chimp, Ayumu (whose name means “mandatory testing” in Swahili) will attend Princeton University in the fall and hopes to major in marketing while trying to land a spot on the gymnastics team.
In a related story, the names of the nine college students are being withheld pending their trying to get a job. Ever.
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December 3rd, 2007 at 8:12 pm
Ok, but I bet the college students are better at throwing feces.
December 4th, 2007 at 12:13 am
If being a secret agent was so easy, a monkey could do it
December 4th, 2007 at 9:59 am
@Diesel
I cleaned out dorms during the summer for my work-study in college. You speak the truth.
@OE
[redacted]..old TV show. [redacted]..real identity remains classified.
But Bob Novak let it slip in a column about Lance Link, Secret Chimp.
December 19th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
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