Get Incensed

Brush with greatness …

Most of the news we get force-fed here in America tends to be focused on European and North American stories. There’s all kinds of stuff going on in the rest of the world, but let’s face it … do you really care what’s going on in Uzbekistan?

Okay, there probably isn’t anything going on in Uzbekistan … but my point is that we also miss some of the good news that comes out of other parts of the world.

For example, South Africa continued its evolution as a country with another historic first. This weekend, Johannesburg hosted the “first sex fair ever held in a country founded by conservative Christians and still home to many sexual taboos.”

With around 12 percent of its population estimated to have HIV, I’m going to suggest there aren’t nearly as many sexual taboos as the conservative Christians would like to think there are.

Still, progress is progress, and the fair went off with out a hitch … which is a lot more than most of us can say about our sex lives.

Like any good convention, the sex fair featured instructional videos, public service booths and plenty of velvet handcuffs. For those attendees who wanted a souvenir of the trip, Sexpo SA also had a booth where you could get your portrait painted.

The booth was manned, and I do mean manned, by an artist who goes by the name of “Pricasso.” Pricasso bills himself as the World’s Greatest Penile Artist which, as you’ve probably guessed by now, has nothing to do with him ever being in prison … at least not as far as anyone knows.

Pricasso, as it turns out happens, paints your portrait with his um, … well, … exactly what you’d think he’d paint with given a name like Pricasso.

More “Joy of Painting”

If the old saying is true, “It’s not the size of your pencil, it’s how you write with it,” Pricasso may also be in line for another “World’s Greatest” title.

Pricasso has used his Power Painter to sketch some of the world’s top government officials including Tony Blair, George Bush and Queen Elizabeth. Interestingly, he hasn’t yet done a portrait of Vice-President Cheney. [Insert your own Dick joke here]

The Artist formerly known as Magic Johnson paints with acrylic (yeah, sure it is) on canvas and either he only does one painting a week or he’s got the foreskin of a rhino.

Pricasso doesn’t use drugs. Working without Viagra, Pricasso has to work fast. Most artists worry about losing the light; Pricasso has to rush to complete a painting before he loses his “inspiration.”

Rumor is he once completed a portrait of Jessica Alba in under 90 seconds.

Hurry, before you lose your inspiration…

According to his website, Pricasso has his private-created paintings hanging featured in private collections around the world. Pricasso also includes a DVD of every painting performance enabling you either to authenticate your artwork as original or clear the room quickly when it’s time for your guests to go home.

If you’re “looking for the perfect gift for the person who has everything,” Pricasso does do individually-commissioned portraits. Every painting is signed by the artist.

Although you probably don’t want to know how he dots the “i.”

humor, art, Pablo Picasso, Pricasso, penile art, Joy of Painting