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You can do better than this….

Halloween is no different from any other holiday. It’s an opportunity to make or break your social status for the coming year.

Holidays are those special times when people gather to share laughs, camaraderie and the occasional food-borne illness.

Holidays mark the occasions when we all come together to create a bubbling cauldron of social pressure. They are the days when what would normally be a simple faux pas can take on mythical proportions because it is marked by a celebratory reminder every year for the rest of your life.

We still talk about the time Uncle Max got so drunk on Halloween afternoon that he used the jack-o-lantern on the front porch as a port-a-potty.

It was fourteen years before kids started stopping by for candy again.

All I’m trying to say is, you shouldn’t take your Halloween costume decision lightly.

This is especially true for women. Men have it easy. Men are not expected to be creative.

How big a double-standard is there? Men get points for trying, not execution. As a man all I need is a bandanna, an eye-patch and a bottle of rum and … poof! … I’m a pirate.

The fact that most pirates wore pants is just a historical detail.

But, as it turns out, an important historical detail because most local police departments don’t accept candy corn as bail.

Halloween presents women with a unique challenge. A woman’s costume is judged not only on creativity but also on sexiness.

Which, when you think about it, doesn’t make Halloween all that different from the rest of the year.

Still, there’s something liberating about being able to dress as slutty as you want for one night in October and not have to worry about disapproving looks from other women.

It’s kind of how Britney Spears goes through life.

So, ladies, in the spirit of Halloween (and the spirit of this blog), I’m happy to provide a public service and recommend a place where you can take care of all your Halloween costume needs: Girls’ Costume Warehouse.

We got costumes.

Happy Halloween, everybody.

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humor, Halloween, sexy costumes, slut-o-ween, pirate costume