Blue State
Let’s get this party started…
Quick. Name 25 of the most raucous party towns in the U.S.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that you didn’t have St. Charles, Missouri in your top 25.
St. Charles might not even be in your top 300 if you’re the kind of overachieving obsessive compulsive person who went that far down the list.
Still, there are those that think the nightlife in St. Charles is getting just a bit out of hand. There’s a bill before the city council that would ban “swearing in bars, along with table-dancing, drinking contests and profane music.”
Presumably, it would be alright for the local Bennigan’s to continue to host the Silver Swans Quilting Club on Thursday night. But only if Miriam doesn’t try to climb up on the bar when someone tells her for the 800th time that Golden Girls was canceled.
Suddenly having all your friends over for a party at your grandmother’s house is starting to look pretty sweet…
If you’re going to outlaw swearing, shouldn’t it be in a place where people actually give a shit hoot? Like maybe at a halfway house for Tourette’s patients or a Gymboree play group?
Good luck with that whole banning of profane music thing, too. If you’re going to outlaw music with suggestive lyrics, you’ll have to find a CD of greatest harpsichord hits from the Victorian Era.
The great thing about the internet is that you don’t have to imagine what life will be like in St. Charles if this bill gets passed. It’s already up on YouTube:
I gotta cut loose….
Is there some sort of brain disease sweeping the Midwest? First, Kansas City had to tell people they could use the airport and now St. Charles is looking to outlaw going to bars for, um…pretty much every reason you’d actually go to a bar.
Next thing you’ll tell me is they’ve outlawed masturbatiing on public transportation.
Wait, …. what?
Awwwww, come on, man….
January 9th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Oddly enough this is not a rural town, but a suburb of St. Louis. Very strange.
January 9th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
That video was strangely compelling. Like looking in the tissue paper after you blow you nose.
January 10th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Don’t forget the banning of sex clubs in Duncanville, Texas. So a guy liked to have som sexy parties in his basement and bam! You can’t even have group sex in your own home anymore. Bastards.
January 11th, 2008 at 8:29 am
@Margie
As an honorary New Yorker, I’m obligated to point out that anything between the Hudson River and East L.A. is rural.
@don
Exactly!
@Kate
You can’t even have group sex in your own home anymore.
Sure you can. You have to remember to go with the quality brand and not the generic duct tape.
And, as you pointed out in your column: soundproof, soundproof, soundproof!
