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Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs

Why is it that dictators always go crazy at some point in their lives?

You’d think that repressing their own people, looting their countries’ economic wealth and performing the occasional hit on some dissident would be a full-time job and enough to keep them occupied.

Just when you think Vladimir Putin might have his hands full trying to turn Russia back into a communist state and economic disaster zone, he decides to announce he’s annexing the North Pole and any oil and mineral rights that might be part of the territory.


Just plain bat-shit crazy

Putin is basing his claim to a region of the Arctic (that is over five times the area of the state of Utah) on the findings of a Russian geological expedition that an underwater Russian ridge is linked to the North Pole.

Right, like anyone on that expedition was going to step up and say Russia wasn’t connected. Even though I hear Siberia is actually kind of nice this time of year.

By this line of reasoning, the U.S. is immediately entitled to take over Canada as the 51st State since the Rocky Mountains continue on up into British Columbia.

It’s not like there’s not enough squabbling over territory in the world without Russia, the largest country on the planet, trying to assert a claim to about 500,000 square miles of previously mapped out territory.

The area currently falls under United Nations jurisdiction and administration … which means it’s only a matter of time before we’re bringing vodka down by truck through Canada.

Russia, Putin, Cocoa Puffs, Arctic, North Pole, oil, gas, diamonds, and bears, oh my,

On the off chance that the expedition hadn’t found a link, let’s just say there might be a few more workers for the Russian prison system.