A.M. ANNOYANCE - Freedom of Choice, Part 1
As Americans we love to do everything to excess.
We invented Las Vegas, the Hummer and DD breast implants. We invented fast food with the idea that you could grab a quick bite when you were pressed for time.
But that wasn’t enough. We had to super-size the hamburger and create a Whopper.
And then, when that wasn’t enough, Kentucky Fried Chicken announced that they would take everything they made and just throw it in a giant bowl for you.
Like some bad cartoon overload, the folks at KFC decided all That wasn’t enough, so about a month later they came out with an added bonus: the KFC bowl now includes a biscuit.
There are rumors that next month Taco Bell is going to abandon all pretense and come out with the Taco Bell Trough. It’s a long styrofoam trench that you can hook to the window of your car so that you and your whole family can just stick your heads in and gorge on meat, cheese and refried beans.
Everyone loves freedom of choice but there’s a fine line between freedom of choice and sensory overload. We passed that line about 10 years ago when every personal hygiene item got its own aisle in the drug store. There are 150 flavors of everything from toothpaste to feminine hygiene products.
Can we all agree that we don’t need 75 different scents of each brand of deodorant? We’ve got scents like Cool Breeze, Arctic Blast, Mountain Air, Icy Wave and Surf. You’re not describing a personal hygiene aisle; you’re rattling off the consequences of global warming.
This explosion of choice is the reason why old people smell funny - by the time they get ready to choose a deodorant, they’ve forgotten what it is they’re shopping for.
Even people in their thirties have to do interval training in order to have enough stamina to get from the Right Guard at one end of the aisle to the Axe Body Spray that’s 26.3 miles away at the end of the row.
Let’s be realistic - the choices of which underarm product to use should be limited to one section of shelves that is about the size of a small book case.
Picking out a deodorant shouldn’t be more complicated than gene splicing.
Here’s all the choice you need in deodorants: scented or unscented; Right Guard, Old Spice or Arrid.
Why? Because I still have to navigate the snack aisle … but we’ll talk more about that later today …
supersize, breast implants, deodorant, Kentucky Fried Chicken, KFC, Taco Bell, Whopper, Right Guard, Old Spice, Arrid
May 24th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
[...] Previously, in Freedom of Choice …. Everyone loves freedom of choice but there’s a fine line between freedom of choice and sensory ove… [...]
May 24th, 2007 at 5:34 pm
No worries fella, you may get your wish. Word is that Wal-Mart, the financial trendsetter of the big box world is taking your advice … at store meetings they are telling employees that customers will have to get used to “fewer choices” in 2007-08. The strategy is to firm up relationships and purchasing position with fewer brands for better profit margins, among other things.
Another thing to think about is if everything uses the same ingredients, do you really have as much choice as you think you do? For example, if every single chip on that shelf is made from the same DNA seed of btCorn with a similar dilution mix of GM soybean … is choice really choice, or is it a distraction?
Just some thoughts. Love the posts, keep up the good work!
Margie
watchingbsg.com
May 24th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Wow. That was a fast response by Wal-Mart. This blogging really is powerful stuff. *g*
I’ll have to choose my next target verrrry carefully.
Thanks, Margie.